Day #90: Memory
I have a lot of memorization to do these days. Things that are important , steps to set things up, new biology, new techniques, new, new, new… well you get the point. Memorization is the bain of my existence. It’s not even a matter of not wanting to memorize something, it’s just old war wounds, no really.
While I was in the military, I had a TBI and suffered a mild stroke as a result. I recently had an MRI to confirm just how bad this was actually. I could probably end the post with that explanation. I mean, it does a pretty good job of summing up why I have such trouble.
Yet, I keep trying. The problem is I enjoy research, but I HATE tests. I’m a nervous exam taker for one thing, I go blank when it’s test time and if that isn’t bad enough, well I’ve just explained my memory issues.
With finals just a month away (less than a month really), I’m trying my best to find a work around for my problems. I’ve spent the past ~10 years trying to find a work around and nothing’s really stuck. I’ve read books, tried different techniques (with mild success) and different medications (with less than mild success), nothing seems to work.
In any case, I keep trying.
By now, you may be wondering what the point of the post is. I think I can sum it up like this. I’m good at research (I like to think anyway), but I’m an average or maybe even below average student. Exams are a poor proxy for determining my ability to do research, unfortunately universities have yet to come to this conclusion, maybe they never will. I just hope that I can manage to finish my PhD while doing mildly well in my classes.
This term has been difficult, but really it depends on the class structure. I have two exams and that is all the points for my class, certainly not the ideal scenario. How will it end? Well only time will tell, until then I’m going back to memorizing the things I need to memorize, even if they don’t want to stick.
Until next time, don’t stop learning!