Recovery: Day 3
Somehow things keep moving forward. I had an experiment yesterday, I have a meeting today to go over my grant proposal, and there is so much data to analyze. It feels weird not getting a break after such a rough surgery, but here we are. Things keep moving forward and if I don’t keep up I’ll get left behind.
I’ve always prided myself on pushing forward. I don’t stop no matter what’s happened to me. Actually that’s a lie, but historically when I stop the bad thoughts creep in and I end up trying to kill myself. It’s not as depressing as it sounds, I promise. It’s just my life, it’s what I’ve known, and I’ve gotten quite used to it.
It would be nice to not have to do anything right now though. My last surgery, a shoulder fix right before the pandemic hit, had me back in the lab literally the next morning, but recovery from that was unremarkable and while I couldn’t use the arm much, I managed to be useful while being (semi) pain free.
I think the difference between the last surgery and this surgery is that while I could keep my arm pain minimal by not using it, my spinal surgery means that I can’t lay down or sit down without pushing on the incisions. Basically there’s no position I can put my body in to find complete relief.
It’s hard to tell if a surgery that was going to reduce/remove your chronic pain when the incision sites still hurt. I’m hopeful, it’s just not going to be a fun week or two while my body does it’s thing and the swelling goes down. It still looks like they shoved golf balls into the incisions, which did I mention sit around my beltline? Yeah so I am wearing pants higher or lower than I would naturally and that feels so weird.
Anyway the point of today is simple, surgery hurts. Hopefully it will be worth it, but I won’t know until after it heals, sort of like unwrapping a christmas present in super slow motion, I won’t know if it’s what I wanted until I’ve completely healed.
Hey, you just had surgery and wow you are already “back” at it! Keep mending and glad you are doing okay, not sure what okay is but you know what I mean
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October 9, 2020 at 11:39 am
OMG that pun, thank you for that. 🤣 I get what you’re saying and thank you! You’re far too kind.
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October 9, 2020 at 11:41 am