Day 292: Thoughts for the day
Well would you look at that, Seattle issued a ban on CS (tear) gas for 30 days. Yeah, you read that right, 30 days. Why 30 days? Well if I had to bet, I would bet that is exactly how long it will take before they get more. In other words they ran out. They’ve been using so much CS gas that they ran out of it. I have a lot of thoughts today apparently, so let’s just dive into a small stream of consciousness.
I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’ve got a lot of things expected of me despite the fact we are living in a pandemic with racism and police brutality at an all time high, or at least it feels that way. Yet, the world keeps moving and a lot of us are forced to pretend that this is somehow normal.
I’m hopeful things don’t go back to normal. Don’t get me wrong, protest the shit out of racism and change the system because we can’t go back again. I’m just shocked, or maybe not shocked, more disappointed that the educational system seems to just ignore all this. The issue is I like education, I love learning, I love teaching, I love the whole thing.
We are supposed to be scholars and as learned individuals with diverse backgrounds we support and fight for one another so that we may create a better future. That was the dream, that way my vision of what higher education meant. It meant not only bettering yourself, but bettering the world with what you do and how you act. Instead, I’m finding out more and more that this was not the case.
I had hoped that with the common goal of education we could interact with and learn from other cultures and races. That this would somehow bring about a more equitable culture and that we would spread into the world with these ideals in the forefront of everything we do.
Instead, at least in the research community, we are ignoring what is happening. We ignore the pandemic, we ignore the racism, we ignore the police violence. We put ourselves into a tiny bubble and pretend that as long as we focus on our research nothing else matters. We have but a singular purpose and that is to elucidate the mechanisms of nature that we’ve been tasked to understand.
As if somehow being latinx, I cannot and in fact should not, sympathize with my black family. As if the death count from COVID-19 is just a number. As if police brutality against one of us isn’t police brutality against all of us. As if we are not all linked together by virtue of existence and we are only as strong as the person with the smallest voice.
I need to rest, but I cannot. Not until this is over, not until black lives really do matter. I cannot and will not be complicit. None of us should, no matter how privileged we are. Because as tired as I am, there is no rest for the black community. We have work to do people and until that work is done, there is no rest for any of us.