The things I carried
In the face of time, even rocks wear away to nothing. How many things will you love that just pop in and out of existence over the course of your life? I don’t mean people; I mean literal things. Photographs, stuffed animals, or mementos of things long past. Things with sentimental value rather than actual value. If I were to take an inventory of the things I own, most would have come into my possession in the last 10 years or so. The oldest would be a photo album from when I was born, and the second oldest would be a scattering of my Marine Corps-issued gear. There’s a large gap of time between those two things, but for good… and bad reasons.
(more…)Into the uncharted
It seems only fitting to close the 365 days of academia project with one more post. It’s admittedly a bit overdue, but the transition from graduate school is a bit more rocky than I had anticipated. Isn’t that how all journeys are, though? I guess not really knowing what comes next has its appeal. After all, as a student, your trajectory is pretty much handed to you. But not every path is the same, and that’s the topic for the day, in a somewhat roundabout introduction. Because I wrote a book chapter, having a physical copy of something you wrote, even if it’s just a short chapter, feels pretty good, if you ask me.
(more…)So you want a PhD: A how-to guide
You get a PhD, and you get a PhD; you ALL get a PhD!!!! Okay, it’s not quite that easy, and while the journey is tough (speaking from experience), it doesn’t have to be as overwhelming as it sometimes is for people. So how do you get a PhD, you may ask? Well, there’s no set path, and frankly, my advice is mostly tailored to the sciences in the US because that’s my area of expertise. Still, I genuinely think a bit of guidance can save people a ton of headaches. I was very lucky because I accidentally did a lot of things right, but I had no guide. If you’re here, then hopefully my little bits of wisdom will make your journey a smooth(er) one. So let’s do this!
(more…)The end of academia
Once upon a time there was a student. I don’t know where I’m going with this, I just really wanted to start out with once upon a time, because that’s how all good fairy tales begin and when you get to the end, they all lived happily ever after. Unfortunately, this isn’t the end of the story, just the end of the chapter really. To celebrate the end, let’s go back to the beginning. Or rather I figure today would be a good time to do the victory lap and recap the journey. It wasn’t a linear progression, but adventures never really are.
(more…)The doctor is in, or AHHHHHH!!!!
Well, it’s official. I mean it’s TECHNICALLY been official for alike two weeks now, but I made it! So why the delay in making this post? I can explain, it’s been a rush… what else is new? But I almost didn’t make it, almost. So now I’m done and I’ve got to figure out what to do next. There’s a lot of “what ifs” going on right now, so there’s a lot to talk about and I already have half a dozen or so post topics I need (want) to cover, which meant that today I really needed to write. Well now that we’re getting all over the place, let’s take this a little more systematically, shall we?
(more…)The result
Well we did it. Go team! I was semi-officially awarded my PhD (I need some signatures to make it official, official). But it’s not the end, not quite. There’s still some work to be done and I want to make sure I hit all the boxes. In the Marines we always ended hard training with a strong finish, I’m hoping to channel some of that into the end of this journey. So a brief update, then I’m going to sleep for a few … years.
(more…)Defense day
Five years. Five long, sometimes very painful years. The last six weeks (probably a bit more) have felt like a mad sprint for my life, but if you’re reading this then we’ve reached the final challenge, the defense. I was taught early on that a defense isn’t really an exam exactly, it’s a celebration of your accomplishments to get to this stage, I will tell you now it does NOT feel that way going into it. It feels a bit like going in for a routine surgery, you know statistically everything will be fine, but…
(more…)The final countdown…
What a week, long experiments, surprise experiments, way too much writing, but we’ve done it! Done what you ask, well let’s get right into where things are at the moment and some of the final things that need to happen. Because there’s a list, there’s always a list and when you’re getting ready to defend the list feels incredibly long and never ending! A quick recap for the week and what’s left to come.
(more…)The end of the rope
How does the saying go? Give a person just enough rope to hang themselves? Well I definitely feel hanged. It’s been a stressful week and that’s saying something given the level of stress generally floating around here these days. Frankly, if it weren’t for the fact that I’m barely updating my blog as it is, I probably wouldn’t be spending this time writing, but I figure there are a lot of people out there who are waiting to hear how the progress is coming. So that said, let’s give a bit of a progress update and then it’s back to work for me.
(more…)There was trouble, because we didn’t make it double
If you want horrible and possibly dated Pokémon puns, I don’t have any. What I do have is a set of skills, skills that make me a nightmare for … well myself frankly and even more horrible possibly dated other puns that have been… taken? The time to graduation is coming, three weeks left, less than three weeks frankly, three weeks last Friday, so like 2.5 weeks-ish. Well have I got a story to tell! I wish it were good news, and in some ways it is, but in other ways, not so much. Don’t worry I’ll break it down a bit so we can get the weekly window view of what’s been happening behind the scenes during my (mostly) radio silent era.
(more…)Four weeks and counting!
Well okay to be honest not exactly four, less than four. Oh no, my defense is less than four weeks away. This feels a bit odd… but here we are I guess. It seems like I’m never going to finish, but there has been progress! Setbacks too for sure, but progress nevertheless! Since it’s so close and I’m in a huge panic ALL THE TIME! I guess (reluctantly…) we can discuss the progress that has been made and what’s left for us as I approach the first of the next major deadlines, the format check. Which is just a week away if my calendar is correct (if not, well than oops…).
(more…)The final countdown
Well graduation is (hopefully) coming. There’s a long road between now and the big defense day, but the end is nigh! It feels weird getting to this point, but it’s also stressful because there’s still so much to get done I’m not sure it will happen. I have a feeling that others have felt the same way while they were wrapping up. So in the spirit of trying to update on a semi-regular schedule I figure at least once a week I can update everyone. That said let’s dive into what’s left, what’s next, and why I don’t think I will get a break anytime soon.
(more…)When DARPA calls… again?!
Once in a blue moon, once in a lifetime, a golden opportunity. sometimes it’s hard to put into words just how lucky you can truly be. Sometimes things just align right and looking back you can see all the little waves you made that, over time, built into something amazing. It’s been what feels like a lifetime since I started my education and for awhile it felt like I was going to go by unnoticed, average. No one wants to be average, but by definition so many of us are. For me, I just feel like I need to be more. But no matter how hard I worked, the ripples just didn’t amount to much… until they did and now, well maybe we should start at the beginning.
(more…)Uncharted – A book chapter update
Well, this is it! The last update in the years long updates regarding my book chapter (here, here, here, and here), you know just to name a few of the previous times I’ve talked about it. Okay, I cannot promise this will be the last time I talk about it, but it is one of the reasons I was reminded that I should update the blog more often, at least every once and awhile. I mean, I’ve got like 5 posts this year in, so it’s safe to say I’m behind. So let’s talk about the chapter.
(more…)The missing months
Well, there goes the project. Okay not really, progress doesn’t reset, it’s not all or nothing. So there’s a gap, I stepped away for a minute and boom it’s been a few months since I last wrote anything. It’s odd because it doesn’t feel that long. I almost got into the habit of telling myself that I would write about something as soon as I had something to write about. Well I’ve never been at a loss for topics, so it was more of an excuse than a reason to not blog. To be fair the time away has helped, but it also made me miss doing this. So let’s talk about the missing months, shall we?
(more…)Charting the uncharted
Sure, I’m not completely sure when I’ll graduate, it’s still a bit of a mystery to be honest, but I’m hopeful and regardless of when I THINK it will happen, I need to plan for what comes next. So far there’s more options than I would’ve first thought and because of that, there’s a whole lot of stuff that needs to happen between now and when the big day comes. Which also means making choices about where I want to go. Thankfully, I got some news that makes me excited about the future, but there’s still a bit of a hang up, okay lot’s of hang ups, nevertheless, you don’t know if you don’t try.
(more…)The first aim (of three)
There’s a lot going on and I have so many updates it was hard to pick just one. While the work stuff is super interesting and things are going at a breakneck pace, I have some good news on the school front and since this journey is primarily school related (after all it’s 365 days of academia, not 365 days of hospital research), I think it’s about time to talk about where I am now and why, despite my best efforts, I still somehow feel so very, very behind schedule. Which isn’t to say I won’t graduate, just that I’m not confident I will.Enough of the lead in though, let’s just get to it.
(more…)Return of the long experiment
It’s been awhile! Things have been busy so I’ve had to prioritize what I wanted to get done to avoid the crash I had after the DARPA event at the end of last year. So there’s a lot of updates coming, obviously. I still want to blog and I hope to get back into the daily routine soon enough, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t happen this week, because this week it’s the return of the long experiment. So let’s break it down a bit and talk about why this round will be different than the previous versions. Well as much as I can talk about anything I’ve been doing anyway.
(more…)The year ahead
It seems only fitting that with the last post a look back, we take a look forward too. For those of you who know me, it won’t be a big surprise. I do it so often, looking forward is probably a hobby. I like to plan for the future and have clear goals to work toward. Maybe that’s just how I’m wired? In any case, it’s what’s kept me going for this long and I don’t think changing strategies this late in the game is a good idea, so we’re sticking with it. It’s going to be an interesting year for me, even if only half the stuff I want to do gets done it should be pretty memorable. But enough with the fluff, let’s dive right in!
(more…)2022 in review
Well I’ve been absent a bit, but I’m still around I promise! I’m trying to get back into the groove. It’s a bit hard with all the stuff piling up, but this blog and the 365 days of academia project are important to me. I’ve got at least a few topics floating around in my head for posts, so it’s not a shortage of things to write, just a shortage of time to write them. Since 2022 is now officially dead and gone, it’s probably not a bad idea to discuss all the progress made towards the finish line, because graduation is coming, sooner or later!! While there are a lot of sad parts to 2022, including the pandemic, for my education and career personally it was overall a good year.
(more…)The uncharted paths
Change, it’s basically a constant. Unfortunately, for what feels like forever, I felt stuck. Progress felt non-existent, papers weren’t being published, data processing wasn’t happening, and that may have just been my personal feelings, but everything I was doing felt wrong. Days turned to weeks turned to months and after a year or so of this things started moving forward. It was a night and day change, now it feels like things are moving so fast that it’s hard to keep up with it day to day, which is probably why I keep writing about all the changes. Now I’m at a point where I have too many options to count.
(more…)Limitations and the consequences
Well hello there. It’s been a hot minute as the kids say (they say that, right?), but I’m feeling somewhat better these days. I’ve written several “first” posts now or at least parts to them and I’m hoping that this will be the one I finally commit to and hit the publish button on. If you’re reading this and are not me, then it’s a good indication I made it that far, how about that? So let’s get the obvious out of the way and catch up on the past few weeks because there’s a lot to catch up on and I’m not abandoning the 365 days of academia project, so no worries on that front! I mean after starting year four, I might as well see it to the end!
(more…)The road forward
Well, it’s been a journey. As I keep mentioning, it’s not over yet, but I can’t help but look back at some of the first few years of posts where I felt lost and/or hopeless. Things have a tendency to work out and I knew it then just like I know it now, but I won’t lie and say it’s been easy. Between now and graduation there is still significant work to be done, but now that I’ve crossed the last week off my list it feels slightly more manageable. I still feel a bit like I lost something, even after gaining a whole lot, but I think that comes with any long-term accomplishment and I should probably brace myself for the feeling to hit again when I finally get my degree. Hopefully, it still feels like something that may not happen for whatever reason.
(more…)When tomorrow’s dream became yesterday
Fifteen years, you chase a dream for so long it becomes a part of you. You wake up, check the boxes you need to the best you can, and do it all again tomorrow. Then you do it again. And you do it again. And you keep taking the steps to get where you want to be, because you’ve already been doing it for so long you figure it would be a shame to throw in the towel now. You’ve bled for the dream, sacrificed for the dream, it’s in you now. After a few years maybe you even start to think it will never happen, because if it was going to happen, it would’ve already. Right? Until one day you wake up, you cross that finish line and the dream you spent so much of your life working towards becomes history. What happens when your dream of tomorrow becomes the history of yesterday?
(more…)Once in a lifetime
We often call opportunities that are huge and potentially life changing, once in a lifetime. While I agree with the spirit I’m hopeful that events like that occur at least a handful of times in a lifetime. That’s mostly because in hindsight we can always have done “better” whatever that looks like. I know I always have the nagging feeling that I could’ve done better no matter how well I do or how perfect things turn out, there’s always a flaw when you look close enough. Maybe I should just be kinder to myself, hell I think that advice applies to most/all of us. But at the end of the day, do we ever really go into these things giving it less than our all? Tomorrow is my once in a lifetime, but it may not be the last one.
(more…)You don’t know me, but…
Have you ever had someone change your life? I mean really made a difference. Maybe it’s as simple as a musician who put to words what you’re feeling, or maybe something more dramatic like saving you from a burning building. I can’t say I’ve been pulled from a burning building or had anything nearly that dramatic happen to me, but I have had my fair share of life changing events occur. The thing is, if you’re not physically being saved then it doesn’t always feel like the person did anything meaningful. I’m sure there exists more than one musician who put just the right words together for a person to feel seen and completely altered the course of their live because of it.
(more…)The second conference prep
It’s conference season. When I say season I mean season, how many conferences can be crammed into the span of two months? I’m not sure, but I do know that just for my field specifically there are three going on in the next seven days and while I do wish I could attend all three, for the sake of my sanity, health, and the safety of the time-space continuum I’m limiting the number of things I am doing. Conference season, on one hand I missed it. For the past two years COVID has basically eliminated all the major conferences in my field. Unfortunately for me, COVID is still a thing, sooooo we’re playing it safe with the good ol’ N95. That said, let’s dive into what the next week will look like and the prep I’m doing for conference number two.
(more…)Fabric conference posters!
It’s here!!!!! My poster is finally here and let me just say it looks great! I’m thrilled with how it came out and the last post on the topic (here) discussed why using a fabric company over a school based company was a great idea, mostly because of the level of expected quality so I won’t be talking about that today. Instead I think I’ll cover why I’m so thrilled, but also how I managed to get it printed, because that’s a story. Although, the linked how-to guide in the previous post on the matter does a great job, I figured I could pass along some other advice. Namely, what to do now that I need to cut it to size…!!!
(more…)For the future
Well it appears we’re talking about future me again I guess with all the stuff going on it’s hard not to. There’s a whole lot of things changing and like it or not, you can’t just jump into the future without plan. Okay, you can, but speaking from experience, I don’t advise it. Sure it may end well, but why risk it? So instead I need to figure out what the next few years looks like. I tend to do this every so often, but with graduation (hopefully) coming, I want to make sure that I make the best choices I can. Basically I need future me not to be pissed off at past me… present me? It’s confusing, but whatever let’s not think about it too much.
(more…)The final week
It’s officially prep time, well it’s always prep time, but in this case I have two conferences back to back next week, so there’s some work to be done. I’ve got a lot of work to do, but what else is new? While everyone is different, since there’s so much going on, I thought it would be great to take the time to discuss how exactly I am getting ready for these events and talk a bit about the stuff that will come afterwards. The next week will be a major one for me, in my opinion anyway, so I want to give myself the best chance at a good outcome.
(more…)So you want to print a conference poster
Well with the DARPA conference coming, I need to print the poster. Easier said than done unfortunately. Sure, with the advent of giant printers, you can get it done in minutes, but there’s a line involved and because it’s conference season and because I want to try something fancy, the line is fairly long. Weeks long, but the conference is in less than two weeks and I only recently finished my poster. Now I SHOULD have taken care of this at the beginning of the week, but again we have an oops because I did not. Moral of the story, if you want to stop reading, don’t be me. Now, since I’m doing something fancy, let’s talk about why and how!
(more…)Postdoc interviews
Well oru lab is hiring! I wanted to start like that so no one got excited thinking I was doing a postdoc interview, I have a postdoc lined up thankfully. But because it’s hiring, we’ve been interviewing potential postdocs to fill the role. Our lab does things slightly differently (from what I’ve seen anyway) and we interview the candidate as a group, separately, and we get the chance to share a meal with them and hear about them in a not super stressful environment. It’s a lot of work, but a lot of fun. I’m exhausted and I wasn’t even the one being interviewed! So if you haven’t been a postdoc before (and why would you, you’d have to be crazy to get a PhD… oh right), there’s a process to it.
(more…)Digging out
Ever feel buried under your work? Like you’ll never see the light of day? It’s odd to think that there are other countries who do it differently, but here in the states, we tend to do that a lot. Or at least that’s what I’m told, I try not to overload myself, but lately it seems there’s no way to avoid it. The problem stems from me, not the stuff around me though. I didn’t have to do so much and I certainly didn’t have to want to do it so quickly, but I have the strong sense that I need to in some ways, because I feel like I’m just plain late. I know it’s just a me thing, but I’m behind some cosmic deadline, or at least that’s the way it feels. And for the past few weeks there was an avalanche of work that I didn’t see coming, then again you never do.
(more…)The second crunch
It’s that time again, crunch time! I think it may be easier to just blog about days that aren’t crunch time honestly, because at this point you could call me captain crunch (legally obligated to ask you not to do that). Grad school can be painful, but we’re close to the end and that may be the biggest problem. There’s just too much to do in the timeframe I want to do it all in. A lot of this cannot be automated, so late nights and long days are abundant. But tomorrow is the second finish line and depending on what I can get done today, we will at least cross it with a modicum of grace. Well except for the surprise demo that is.
(more…)The second deadline
Well we’re roughly 36 hours away from the second deadline of the month. There’s still two more deadlines I need to hit to survive the month, but so far we’re on a shaky, but manageable track to make it to deadline number two. Four deadlines in one month! It’s a lot, but I guess it is the spooky season. I just didn’t realize I would be dealing with man-made horrors beyond my comprehension. Seriously though with the second deadline so close, I am just a bit stressed at the moment.
(more…)The taboo of failure
We celebrate a lot of exciting things. You get into your dream school? Let’s party! Getting married? Time to celebrate! Win the big game? Well you get the point. As a culture, here in the US anyway, we celebrate victories and make fun of people who try to include the people who lose. If you’ve never seen the “participation trophy” discourse then it’s probably better to live in ignorance, trust me on that. In short, we celebrate the winners because they accomplished something and if you failed then clearly you did not.
(more…)Finding answers
Okay, today is basically the final day I have to get the answers I want. While I’ll have time to work on this during the week (with a little luck that is) I don’t want to rely on that. Instead today I’m going to make the push to find out if my “super secret technique” (SST) actually works. I have the data, I have most of the code written, and I have some new equipment to help me out (after putting that mechanical engineering degree to good use and reinforcing my desk a bit). So the rest is me and how much I can do.
(more…)The dissertation foundation work
Everything needs to have a good foundation, from homes to education, if the foundation is awful, it’s all going to collapse on itself. Science is no different. Especially when we’re working with data that you can’t make sense of at a glance. Without the proper checks, you can rapidly set yourself up for failure. So today is all about building that foundation. And with DARPA and my next presentation coming up, we need to at least get the foundation done.
(more…)Time for an upgrade
Okay, it’s not the best of times, but it’s not the worst of times either. Wait, I didn’t do that intentionally, but it works. Maybe I should’ve titled the post a tale of two monitors! It’s back to crunch time though meaning late nights from here to the end of the month, well at least until the end of the DARPA deadline. It’s going to be a challenge, but I’ve got a new toy to help me make it through. Well a new monitor to be exact. Sometimes you just have to buy yourself something nice.
(more…)The dissertation update
It’s been a busy few days, but progress has been made and that’s all that matters right now. I knew what I was getting myself into when I started this whole thing and it’s only going to be for a little bit longer (if all goes well) so I don’t mind it so much. Right now it’s more about the timing of everything. With DARPA deadlines fast approaching I want to be certain that I can get at least something done to show at the conference, as usual, even if it’s that what I’m proposing doesn’t work.
(more…)Dissertation late nights
It’s another long day, but progress is progress. I want to graduate on time and I’m going to give it my best shot in making it happen. My dissertation is complicated and my proposal was a lot of work, more work than I wanted, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do in order to graduate. Since collecting all the data for aim 1 is finished, the rest, at this stage anyway, is up to me. It’s another late night, but the end is so very, very close!
(more…)Forward progress
I don’t want to say I’ve learned a lot in the last few years, but I have to say, I’ve learned a lot in the last few years. Sometimes you don’t realize the progress you make until you find yourself in a situation that would’ve been overwhelming or even impossible before and you are (not so) suddenly able to handle it without too much of a problem. Take for instance my dissertation work. When we last discussed (yesterday) I wanted to process ALL THE DATA!!!! But realistically I thought I would get a handful of datasets done, 3 to 5 maximum. Well…
(more…)The work continues
Yesterday I mentioned all the work that was ahead for me. And work there is! While I have one dataset done (mostly) I need to process the rest of the data (ideally) to make my deadlines. Not all the data needs to be processed, but most of it would be nice, all of it would be great, and right now I have exactly no data processed so I am not exactly sure how much I’ll be able to finish today. Sometimes that’s just how these things go though.
(more…)The next dissertation steps
Well it’s the weekend! Which means work, because of course it does. If it weren’t for the fact that I’m doing both work-work (as in working in a hospital) and PhD work (school), I would have my weekends (mostly) free for myself, but since I want to graduate soon, there’s a lot that needs to happen. Order of operations matter and today I’m going to talk about my plan to get the first phase of my dissertation data finalized. And it needs to happen quickly!
(more…)Presentation 1 of 3
Well today was the first of three presentations and it’s been an incredibly busy 24 hours, the crunch time of crunch time. I was stuck late last night working away at this making sure it was ready for the big day and while there was some minor errors on one of my slides, the presentation went off without too much of a hitch and everyone was pretty impressed, at least that’s what I’ve been told. As for me, I need a vacation.
(more…)The curious case of something, or nothing?
It was such an obvious gap that I didn’t understand why it was there. Four years ago, almost exactly, I realized that when it came to the research our lab was doing, brain-machine interfaces mostly, that gap existed, I was confused. Surely I was mistaken, but in-depth searching turned up nothing. Coming in I thought the field was mature, everything that could be discovered was and now it was a slow slog of incremental improvements. Yet there it was staring me in the face like a red car in a black car lot. And thus super secret technique (SST) was born.
(more…)The pressure is on!
Okay we’re just days away from the first major deadline I have and wouldn’t you know it, nothing is getting done. Thankfully that’s about to change, I mean it’s only been two days since the last major step in data processing, so it’s not like I’m being lazy about it! There’s just other work to do, but I’ve managed to find time between now and then to make sure I can get at least a portion of this work done.
(more…)Crunch time
Well it’s been a busy few days and we’ve got deadlines, so things are going to have to happen and quick! Meaning it’s officially crunch time because there’s not a lot of it between now and Friday, when I’m scheduled to present some of the stuff I’ve been working on. Over the weekend my goal was to get at least one of the datasets processed and have a rough idea what’s going on. It was the main reason yesterday’s post was a short paragraph and nothing more. Sometimes things don’t quite go to plan.
(more…)The race against time
Well tonight’s post is coming ultra late. Mostly because I’m busy working on the data and am hoping to see some sort of result soon (if I’m lucky). There’s still a lot of work to do and I was hoping to get a proper post in today, but alas it was not in the cards. That said, it’s back to work I go, maybe I’ll get a glimpse of something good tonight, or maybe it will all be for naught, but hey at least I’m trying.
No time like tomorrow
I’m not a procrastinator at all. In fact to prove it, I’ll list all the reasons why I don’t procrastinate, tomorrow. But seriously, sometimes putting things off until tomorrow is the best kind of care and time management. In the magical world of tomorrow you’ll feel fully awake, well rested, and the best you’ve ever felt. Of course, that’s just a fantasy, but even then sometimes self care is the best thing you can do for yourself. Which is why I’ve decided to put off the work I wanted to get done today for the magic world of tomorrow.
(more…)
Lunatic Laboratories 