The first aim (of three)
There’s a lot going on and I have so many updates it was hard to pick just one. While the work stuff is super interesting and things are going at a breakneck pace, I have some good news on the school front and since this journey is primarily school related (after all it’s 365 days of academia, not 365 days of hospital research), I think it’s about time to talk about where I am now and why, despite my best efforts, I still somehow feel so very, very behind schedule. Which isn’t to say I won’t graduate, just that I’m not confident I will.Enough of the lead in though, let’s just get to it.
(more…)Return of the long experiment
It’s been awhile! Things have been busy so I’ve had to prioritize what I wanted to get done to avoid the crash I had after the DARPA event at the end of last year. So there’s a lot of updates coming, obviously. I still want to blog and I hope to get back into the daily routine soon enough, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t happen this week, because this week it’s the return of the long experiment. So let’s break it down a bit and talk about why this round will be different than the previous versions. Well as much as I can talk about anything I’ve been doing anyway.
(more…)The uncharted paths
Change, it’s basically a constant. Unfortunately, for what feels like forever, I felt stuck. Progress felt non-existent, papers weren’t being published, data processing wasn’t happening, and that may have just been my personal feelings, but everything I was doing felt wrong. Days turned to weeks turned to months and after a year or so of this things started moving forward. It was a night and day change, now it feels like things are moving so fast that it’s hard to keep up with it day to day, which is probably why I keep writing about all the changes. Now I’m at a point where I have too many options to count.
(more…)For the future
Well it appears we’re talking about future me again I guess with all the stuff going on it’s hard not to. There’s a whole lot of things changing and like it or not, you can’t just jump into the future without plan. Okay, you can, but speaking from experience, I don’t advise it. Sure it may end well, but why risk it? So instead I need to figure out what the next few years looks like. I tend to do this every so often, but with graduation (hopefully) coming, I want to make sure that I make the best choices I can. Basically I need future me not to be pissed off at past me… present me? It’s confusing, but whatever let’s not think about it too much.
(more…)The final week
It’s officially prep time, well it’s always prep time, but in this case I have two conferences back to back next week, so there’s some work to be done. I’ve got a lot of work to do, but what else is new? While everyone is different, since there’s so much going on, I thought it would be great to take the time to discuss how exactly I am getting ready for these events and talk a bit about the stuff that will come afterwards. The next week will be a major one for me, in my opinion anyway, so I want to give myself the best chance at a good outcome.
(more…)The second crunch
It’s that time again, crunch time! I think it may be easier to just blog about days that aren’t crunch time honestly, because at this point you could call me captain crunch (legally obligated to ask you not to do that). Grad school can be painful, but we’re close to the end and that may be the biggest problem. There’s just too much to do in the timeframe I want to do it all in. A lot of this cannot be automated, so late nights and long days are abundant. But tomorrow is the second finish line and depending on what I can get done today, we will at least cross it with a modicum of grace. Well except for the surprise demo that is.
(more…)Crunch time
Well it’s been a busy few days and we’ve got deadlines, so things are going to have to happen and quick! Meaning it’s officially crunch time because there’s not a lot of it between now and Friday, when I’m scheduled to present some of the stuff I’ve been working on. Over the weekend my goal was to get at least one of the datasets processed and have a rough idea what’s going on. It was the main reason yesterday’s post was a short paragraph and nothing more. Sometimes things don’t quite go to plan.
(more…)A long conclusion
We did it, another “long experiment” in the books. Total time? Twelve hours. Twelve, non-stop. Okay there was exactly one bathroom break, one coffee drank and one protein bar eaten, but I kid you not, that was all there was time for. When I say long experiment, I mean LOOOOOONG experiment. 98% of that is standing, well moving around doing things, so let’s say “not seated” since that’s more accurate. So, was it worth it? Well now, that’s the real question isn’t it?
(more…)The last day of prep
Well I’m not pulling an all nighter today so that’s good news. Two weeks ago we had our first “long experiment,” now we’re going into the second one. Long experiment because it will take all day and I mean all day. We start at 7am and I’ll be lucky if we finish at 7pm, that kind of long. Since long experiment is, well long, I’ve been working on lots of different ways to optimize the experiment. That won’t make it shorter, but I’m hoping it will be less stressful.
(more…)Return to the OR
It’s been a minute since I’ve had an OR experiment. To be fair there’s a lot going on and with the stuff we’ve been doing there hasn’t been time. But there’s also the participant factor. People need to agree to be part of the study and even before then we need to make sure they are a good fit, so there’s a lot of factors for why we haven’t done one for some time. In any case that is quickly about to change!
(more…)The long week ahead
It’s going to be a looooong week. Mostly because we have what I’m calling “long experiments” coming up this week. Which of course has a lot of work attached to them. When I say long, I mean all day, all day experiments are intense and there’s still work to be done. So this week is mostly going to be focusing on the remaining work I have. But it wouldn’t be a long week if there wasn’t other stuff coming, meaning we have experiments, classes, and a whole lot of other stuff to look forward to in the week ahead.
(more…)The long-term effects of COVID
Sometimes things just work out a particular way. Two days ago I got the bivalent COVID vaccine and that same day Nature Medicine released a new paper on the long-term effects of COVID infection. The paper has already been getting a lot of attention and as you would imagine people are quickly trying to downplay the implications, because the facts are not looking good to those who want to minimize COVID. In fact, at this point ignoring the dangers is ignoring reality and sadly people seem to be okay with pushing that ignorance. So let’s talk COVID… again.
(more…)The looooong experiment
Ever have one of those nights where you KNOW that tomorrow you have a huge thing going on and for whatever reason, you just CANNOT sleep to save your life? Maybe it was because every few minutes I was reminded of something I needed to do prior to the experiment, or maybe it was just because there was already so many things left undone. Whatever the reason, what should’ve been a day for me to get a full night’s rest turned into what amounts to a power nap.
(more…)Dissertation data processing
Today is the day! Well one of many days… wait let’s start over. Today we are processing data for my dissertation and by we I mean myself and two people who have been helping me in the school lab. They will be learning how to process the data, but I’ll be processing all my data solo. It’s my dissertation after all and the old saying, “if you want something done right…” applies here. I can’t afford to trust that they will do it correctly because they’ve never done it, but they are going to learn how today!
(more…)The internal scars
Not all trauma leaves a visible mark. Just like not everyone who is disabled “looks” disabled, not everyone who has had a traumatic event, even a very physical one, will have scars that show. That doesn’t mean they aren’t there, or that if you look hard enough you can’t find evidence of them, it’s just not a big flashing neon sign saying, “here I am!” It also doesn’t make them hurt any less, or make them any less real. Sometimes the trauma you can’t see is the trauma that hurts the most to carry.
(more…)Death, consent, and Einstein
Death and taxes, the two constants of the world. I think some people are afraid of death because it’s so common, so… pedestrian. We all do it, wealthy, poor, unlike almost everything about life, death is the great equalizer. In life we are taught we have choices and those choices are set by our circumstances, but for the most part we get to decide what our lives look like. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case when we die, even when our wishes are made explicit. This is the true story of the death of Albert Einstein and if you don’t know it, I don’t blame you if you don’t believe it.
(more…)DARPA Risers 2022
Well it’s even more official! I’ve been selected as a 2022 DARPA Riser and I’ve gotten more details on the event. Today I figure it’s a good time to talk about the process as I know it and where we are in that process. Mostly because the internet had very little on the topic and because I am very excited to be part of the selection. I also now can view my fellow DARPA Risers, which has been more than just a little humbling.
(more…)The hard road
Is doing something an easier way necessarily worse than doing it a hard way? I mean with a lot of things in life you get out what you put in. If you work hard enough you could be an olympic athlete, a world class musician, dancer, artist. But even in those cases, is it hard work, or consistant work that makes the difference? I’m not sure one way or the other, but I’ve typically opted for the hard way. It’s lead to mixed results, but typically I don’t mind putting in the extra effort if it means that I will have a good outcome.
(more…)Data mountain
Well the week is over and I’ve barely been able to drag myself out of bed it’s been so exhausting. Unfortunately, we’re doing it all again next week too, so it’s not over yet. But the first of two test experiments are done, I say test because these don’t actually count toward our original set of experiments we’re doing later this summer. Meaning there’s going to be a lot of work coming my way, fun times.
(more…)A dissertation dilemma
Okay, since I’m still waiting on my new and fancy toys to arrive for my dissertation I’ve been debating about going through the whole thing once again using the equipment I already have access to. Since there’s a limited amount of time I may just have to power through and go ahead with data collection using the old equipment, but it’s still anyone’s guess if I’ll do that because frankly I’m not sure it will be worth it. Since it’s up in the air, I figure I can write out my thought process and hopefully figure it out one way or the other.
(more…)Finalizing the figures
Okay technically they are videos, not figures, but they are demonstrating things that could be shown in figure format if we had the space. In fact, we do have one figure in the paper I’m dealing with that has stills from the video demonstrating some of the things we found. With the finalization of the response for “last paper” I need to sit down and get the code fixed to redo some of these videos, which will be a challenge.
(more…)Challenges in data collection
It had to come sooner or later, I needed to finally take a look at some of the data I collected for my dissertation. The problems were many and the biggest issue is that I’ve never worked with the software we used to collect the data, so there were issues… lots of issues. So today let’s recap the problems I’ve faced and hopefully I the next time around this won’t be so damned painful.
(more…)The big payoff
Yesterday I finally had the chance to get not one, but two new datasets! Those datasets were for a project I’m calling “big idea.” In my mind, it will change the way a lot of things are done, advance science, and I even joked with hospital-PI that I would need to retire after we publish because I’ll never do anything better. I have a lot of hope for big idea, but the first dataset we got was a fail, so the question was, what happened and did we fix it?
(more…)The big data haul
It’s been one hell of a week and it’s only Monday. Experiment days are always hard, but when you’re doing multiple experiments in one day in, let’s say not so ideal situations, it can be hard. But we’ve made it out the other side! Unfortunately, just because the experiment is over, doesn’t mean things get any easier. At least in this case, because now comes the hard part.
(more…)Another big experiment!
Things have been off to a rocky start for my “big idea” there’s a lot of moving parts, people to coordinate with, and things to manage. It’s no surprise things haven’t gone well since we started trying to get this project off the ground, but we’re still trying and that has to count for something… right? As it turns out, we may have lucked out this next week!
(more…)Seven days…
Okay, I’m not going to do a countdown to my proposal defense, as much as I really want to do it. But since we’re a week away from the big day, I wanted to give an update on the plan and maybe recap a little about where I am. Yes, it feels like a theme, but with such a large milestone coming up, it’s basically all I’m focused on for the moment!
(more…)The OR waltz
It’s back to the OR I go! Which means exhausting times ahead, but also very exciting times. It’s been months since our last OR experiment and things have been shelved, literally, equipment has been packed away because we weren’t using it. So it’s time to once again to shake out the equipment and do our familiar dance with the clinical staff.
(more…)New and old projects
It’s finally my chance to put my own spin on the stuff coming out of the hospital lab and I’m incredibly excited about what is coming. Unfortunately I can’t talk about it! However, I’m hopeful that this year will be an excellent year for me with regards to the research I’m doing. Things are slowly falling into place and while we’re still at the beginning, things are looking bright.
(more…)A (not so) small celebration of… me
I can write small novels on the accomplishments of others and praise the work they do, because the work they do is worth praise. I think I come off overly flattering, but I mean every word of it because people deserve to be celebrated. Well sadly, I lack that ability for myself, but I’m pushing through the skin crawling feeling that I should delete this and write something else to celebrate a victory, or at least an acknowledgement of a win. So today we’re talking about my least favorite subject, me.
(more…)Another robot appears!
In the middle of the week we’re expecting some visitors that could lead to funding for our lab! Not that we need more projects, we already have over a dozen different projects we’re trying to power through and only three of us (including hospital-PI) to get them all done. Since we have so many projects, we’ve split them in half, literally. I’m taking all the lower limb projects and my labmate is taking upper limb. What does this have to do with the visit? It turns out, a lot.
(more…)Return of the “technique”
With all the excitement around here with the progress made towards making “big idea” a reality, you may think that I’ve forgotten about other projects and things I’m working on. That isn’t the case and I have other exciting updates regarding something I’ve been calling my “super secret technique” not the most descriptive name, but that’s sort of the point. It’s not “big idea,” but is sure isn’t a tiny idea either.
(more…)In defense of pain management
Well this seems to be coming up a lot lately. One of the things about working in a hospital is you get to see a lot of different opinions and cases from doctors from all areas of expertise. It gives everyone a well rounded education and frankly no matter where you are in your career it’s always good to keep up with the state of the art in your field and adjacent fields. I’m in the neurosurgery department so we get to talk a lot about the brain and spinal cord, which means pain is a frequent topic.
(more…)People are squishy and other science explanations
A recent blog comment reminded me of something I said the other day to surgeon-PI. Keep in mind that surgeon-PI and I have only known each other since he started at the hospital, which isn’t long. While we were doing an experiment in the OR, so under his watch, we discussed some of the challenges with the experiments we were doing and when we tried to change things on the fly he said it was bad science, to which I replied people are squishy. I said what I said damn it!
(more…)Back in the OR
Oh man, I haven’t been in the OR since last year! Okay we’re only a few days into the new year, but it does feel like it’s been a bit with the holidays. That’s going to change though because tomorrow is our first OR experiment of the year. And with the new year, we have some new changes to the experiment that we’ll be trying since we’ve had over a half dozen attempts to do this right with somewhat mixed success.
(more…)Another new project!
In the spirit of making things as hard as I possibly can for myself I’ve gotten a new project to work on from hospital-PI. This was a known thing, but it does (mildly) clash with the idea I recently had. Since I cannot share the idea I had, we can instead talk about this project a bit and why the two will be at odds. I also have a fun update on the big idea project I came up with so I’m shoehorning it in with this post since it’s semi-related.
(more…)Yet another rush…
It’s a familiar story by now. Tomorrow is not one, but two experiments in the OR. In fact, I’m going to be so busy tomorrow that I’m probably going to write tomorrow’s post today. The good (or at least interesting) news there is that I have a good topic lined up for tomorrow since it just happened to fall in my lap. But for today, well let’s just say there’s not a whole lot of time.
(more…)Double OR experiments!
It’s official, I just got not one, but two new participants for our study. This will be happening next week and the scary part is they are both on the same day, so it will be more than a full day in the OR, like 12 hours or so for the whole day. Not all of that time will be spent in the OR, thankfully. Every attempt we’ve had thus far in the OR has gotten better and better, so if the pattern holds, we should have some very good data after this next round of participants and I will have more data than I know what to do with.
(more…)The fifth OR experiment
Well we did it. I finally have the first (mostly) complete dataset from a patient. Overall I think it went well and we got good data. Mistakes were made! But thankfully none of them derailed the project and overall I am happy with the outcome. Let’s get into what went wrong and what went right, because having some post surgical notes will help me next time we do our thing.
(more…)Prepping for the experiment
Today’s the day, experiment number five. With lot of luck this will be the first full experiment we do for this protocol. It will hopefully mark a turning point for us since after four attempts we’ve yet to get a full dataset. However, I’m hopeful, but I’m also going in alone today.
(more…)A big idea…
You ever have an idea that you just KNEW would change the way you were doing things. Like the first person to invent a surgical robot, it was just a good idea and it completely changed the way things were done. I don’t think that this idea is going to change things that dramatically, but much like my super secret technique, I think my recent revelation is going to mean some great things for me. Lighting struck the other day and it has hospital-PI incredibly excited.
(more…)Fun with collaborators!
So much has been going on that I can’t even keep up with it. I was debating about what news to share, but I think we’ll talk about something I’ve had in the works for awhile now. Actually I just checked my email exchanges, this has been in the works for over a year and today we finally crossed the threshold from hypothetical to real world data collection!
(more…)Update from the OR
No, I’m not updating this while I’m in the OR, but we had OR attempt number five as a maybe today and I have good news. We managed to get a yes at the last minute and got some interesting data. It’s all very exciting, so now I need to dig around and see what we found. For sake of remembering, let’s run through how today went!
(more…)Another OR experiment… maybe
I got a random email yesterday from hospital-PI that I didn’t understand and I’m still trying to figure out what’s going on, but it looks like experiment number five may be happening as early as Monday! It will be an early morning and a long day, but it will be worth it, assuming it happens. Like everything in my life at the moment, we’re not 100% sure that we will be able to attend.
(more…)Writing rush
Well today I will be spending the bulk of my time editing a journal paper that needs some work. Okay a lot of work, it’s not great, but I feel like it’s a case of switching fields. Something I know all too well when I jumped from mechanical engineering to neuroengineering. I try to be polite when editing because it’s stressful enough as it is. However, it’s important to remember that it’s the paper being critiqued, not you.
(more…)The fourth OR experiment
It’s official! We have experiment number four coming in two days. I’m excited about another attempt to collect data and to answer about a dozen interesting questions since we just keep tacking on stuff to look at when we go in. I’m not even joking, the experiment list keeps growing because the opportunity is unique and they don’t add significant amounts of time to the main experiment we’re doing.
(more…)Off to the OR!
Tomorrow is the big day, our second experiment and while I’m a little nervous, I’m also excited to see what we can do. Last time around we had some issues… okay a lot of issues, but that’s because it was the first time we’ve ever tried something like this. This time around we worked with the team that will be in the OR with us so we know what they are doing and this time they know what we are doing. Basically we’re aiming for a whole lot less drama and a whole lot more useable data, meaning any usable data!
(more…)DIY Research
Working in a big fancy hospital research lab means I get access to all sorts of very expensive, very cool equipment that I wouldn’t be able to use normally. Things that I take great pains not to break because, well… it’s not cheap. If we need something, we order it and the process is surprisingly fast considering the amount of paperwork that goes into placing an order. However, on occasion there are no ready pieces of equipment that I can just use for an experiment or we don’t know that the big expensive piece of equipment that we’re looking at is the thing we actually need. So what other options do we have? Spoiler, it’s arts and crafts time.
(more…)Experiments from the OR
The last place you would expect to see me doing non-invasive research would be the operating room. Surgery, even the minor stuff, can be very invasive, but that doesn’t mean we can’t collaborate and combine our techniques. Of course this is the first time anyone in the hospital has tried to collaborate like this (that we know of anyway) so there’s bound to be some growing pains. Luckily we’re about to go into our second real attempt at this and I think we’ve worked out all the problems.
(more…)A weekend of edits
No matter how much you stagger something, it somehow all manages to come back to you at the same time. It’s an interesting phenomenon that I’ve noticed, where suddenly everyone wants something from me all at the same time. In this case, I was hit with not one, but three paper edits that need to happen. All of the requests happened within a day of each other, so now my weekend will be spent doing my least favorite activity, editing papers.
(more…)One presentation done!
Today was the final presentation on some research I did. The road was long and I wish I could blame it all on COVID, but there was a lot for me to learn between when we started and now. I’m happy with the outcome and I think my school-PI is happy as well. There’s still one minor milestone left and that’s the publication, but the paper is written and I’m waiting for edits from my co-authors, so the hard part is done at least.
(more…)
Lunatic Laboratories 