Adrift

Technical writers block. Is that a thing? I’m struggling to finish this thing and I’m not sure why, it’s hard to make an idea fit a page limit, especially when that idea fits on half the pages that are expected from you. So what are you supposed to do, add fluff? It feels antithetical to the purpose of technical writing to add in garbage. What do I do?!

Fun fact, I cannot submit a grant. I am not a PI and for those of you thinking that maybe I am because I am writing a grant, bad news. I’ve probably mentioned this (I’m still a bit out of it from surgery, or at least that’s what I’m telling myself!), but to submit a grant I need to be a PI. That doesn’t mean I can’t write one though. Not that I particularly wanted to write one, but here we are.

I still think it’s odd that my PI wanted me to go this route. I figured a nice fellowship would be the best option for me to do the research I would like to be doing. Instead he told me very plainly and directly to focus on the grant and don’t worry about fellowships… as in don’t you dare apply. Now, keep in mind this is my main-PI who I recently accidentally made very angry! However, I assume we made up, he isn’t trying to ruin my funding options, and this will somehow work out better for me.

That is the assumption I want to make anyway. I think I’m forgiven, it was an honest mistake (a story which I owe all of you eventually I’m sure). In any case, I was tasked with this grant and I’ve been faithfully working on finishing it for the past few weeks now. Originally we were going to be submitting it the first weeks of November, that was the deadline. Now it sounds like it may get pushed back to December… which is enough to make me nervous.

I have no reason to think my PI is trying to screw me over, it’s probably just a lot of my own stuff, which admittedly there’s a lot! Still it would be nice to know what the plan is and while he is a great person, I feel like his communication is awful. To the point that I’m left trying to figure out what the heck is going on. Anyway, all this to say I have work to do and am left in turmoil because I don’t know that my PI and I are on the same page. Maybe a meeting is in order, it’s hard with the pandemic, but hey why not?

Bottom line for the day? I like having plans, goals, and milestones. Communication is important and while my Co-PI is super responsive (probably because we’re super similar, he has a PhD/MD and still thinks he isn’t good enough and it makes me laugh because I was hoping a PhD would fix that about me!) my main-PI is unfortunately not communicative at all. He does have a lot going on and I totally understand that. I just wish he had time enough to make me feel like I was being heard. So here I am, adrift at the moment.